Nikki Voxx is Australia’s leading Dating + Relationships Coach for women over 35+. She helps women connect to their feminine core essence and find safety and love in divine union. 

Having spent 8 years as a single Mother, running her own successful podcast production business, Nikki experienced first-hand the many pressures + stresses of juggling dating with business + life.

With a string of roadkill relationships behind her, Nikki made it her mission to understand the unique blend of individual masculine/feminine dynamics for each relationship, the key to communicating with your partner with authenticity and vulnerability, as well as how to feel SAFE in relationships despite previous toxic partners.

It was at this time Nikki decided to pursue qualifications as a Rapid Resolution Therapy Specialist to shift women into safety and love in divine, sacred union. Nikki believes that the power of a regulated nervous system and reprogramming subconscious beliefs means you can leave the emotional baggage in the past, no longer reacting in relationship, instead responding from a place of peace, clarity and confidence.

It was 2020, I was sitting in front of my laptop with my three year old playing beside me. I found
myself confronting a truth I had long avoided: my own sensuality. Growing up, I had internalised
the societal narrative that told me my desires were something to be hidden, something to be
ashamed of. But on that particular evening, as the weight of societal expectations and single
Mum life pressed down on me, I made a decision—a decision that would change everything.

I recently had an enlightening conversation on my podcast that ignited a spark within me. With a mixture of excitement and curiosity, I finally decided to hit the 'buy now' button on my first Rose Quartz crystal wand. This simple act catapulted me on a journey—a journey of self-discovery, of liberation, of reclaiming my
feminine power. In the quiet of that moment, I gave myself permission to indulge—to indulge in
the pleasures that had long been denied to me. The pleasure of being the fullest expression of
MYSELF.

Because here’s the thing, embracing your sensuality and tapping into your unique feminine core
essence and SLOWING down in a world that constantly nags you to go faster, is an act of
rebellion. When we embrace our desires without reservation, we're not just having a good
time—we're reclaiming our power, our agency, our very essence as women. We’re saying to the
world, "I decide what feels good for me!”

We know that when it comes to female sexuality, society has slapped on more labels than a
designer handbag. For far too long, we've been fed this narrative that our desires should be kept
under lock and key, hidden away like some forbidden treasure. But guess what? It's time to tear
down those walls and reclaim what's rightfully ours. It's time to shatter those chains of shame
and guilt, to embrace our sensuality with open arms.

From the whispers behind closed doors to the not-so-subtle nudges of societal norms, women
have been bombarded with messages that tell us our sensuality is something to be ashamed of,
something to be hidden away in the darkest corners of our minds. But why? Why should
something as natural as our desires be treated like some dirty little secret?

Just as the queen of self-love and sensuality, Betty Dodson, once famously said, "Sex energy
and creative energy are parts of the same life force that draws us to it like the warmth of a
summer sun or the light of a full moon." And you know what, she's absolutely right. Dodson
understood that our sexuality isn't just about physical pleasure—it's about tapping into our
creative essence, our life force, the very source of our innate power.

But here's the kicker, babes: society doesn't want us to tap into that power. Oh no, they'd much
rather keep us boxed in, playing by their rules, dancing to their tune. Because when women
embrace their sensuality, when they indulge in self-pleasure, they become unstoppable. They

become fierce, unapologetic forces of nature, and that's something society has deemed too dangerous to handle.

So, what do they do? They shame us. They guilt-trip us. They tell us that our desires are sinful,
dirty, wrong. But let me tell you something, babes: there's something so right about wanting to
feel good! With wanting to explore our bodies, with wanting to claim our pleasure as our own.

I know what you’re thinking, this is nice to read but *how* do I overcome the shame and guilt?
Good question babe! Firstly it’s in acknowledging the awareness that there's nothing shameful
about wanting to feel good, about exploring our desires, about owning our pleasure.

Because when we are flowing with the full force of pleasure through our veins, do you know who
benefits? Our friends, our family, our communities, our SOCIETY. As women we amplify
pleasure, it emits off us like the sun emits heat, it warms those who come near us and passes
on the warmth of joy, love, pleasure and fun.

We can also think of it this way– just as a majestic lioness, prowling through the savannah
doesn’t feel ashamed or guilty for pursuing what feels good to her—whether it's hunting for food,
basking in the warm sun, or indulging in a leisurely nap... neither should you! It sounds absurd
that a lioness would waste her time or energy on moralistic thinking; she simply follows her
instincts, her desires, her very essence as a powerful predator. She is a formidable symbol of
power, strength and divine feminine power. So let’s think like a Lioness.

So how else can you embrace your sensuality and self-pleasure if you don’t want to
masturbate?

Its savouring that sip of coffee on your lips, its anointing yourself in your favourite perfume,
lighting a candle, lathering your body in a rejuvenating oil after stepping out of the shower,
dancing around the house to your favorite tune.

It’s taking 20 minutes out of your day to lie in the park daydreaming as you look at the sky, it’s
watching the way the wind plays with the leaves - its anything that delights your senses.

Touch, smell, sound, sight and taste.

These are innovative ways to reclaim your pleasure and assert your agency beyond factors
such as race, class, and gender identity. Because pleasure isn't a one-size-fits-all
experience—it's deeply intertwined with factors that create additional layers of marginalization,
impacting access to resources, opportunities, and even the freedom to explore desires. But
what speaks true, no matter your background, preference or access is to romanticise your life by
doing little acts of ritual that show your mind, body and soul how much you value it.

Self pleasure and sensuality isn't just about physical satisfaction or reaching the Big O it's about
honoring yourself and your needs. It's an act of rebellion to love yourself, your body, your mind,
your soul and nourish yourself in your own unique way.

As I sit here reflecting on my journey of self-discovery and empowerment, I can't help but feel a
sense of awe at the transformative power of embracing sensuality and self-pleasure. It was a
decision—a simple click of a button—that catapulted me into a world of liberation, of reclaiming
my feminine power in a society that tried to keep it hidden. In a world that often silences the
whispers of female desire, there's a revolution brewing—a revolution sparked by the simple act
of embracing sensuality and reclaiming feminine power.

Just as the majestic lioness prowls through the savannah without a hint of shame or guilt, so too
should we embrace our desires with fearless determination. Whether it's indulging in the simple
pleasures of everyday life or exploring new ways to delight our senses, let's make a vow to
ourselves, a vow to reclaim our pleasure with pride and confidence. For in doing so, we not only
nourish ourselves—we nourish our communities, our society, and our world.